All of us ambitious young writers hoped to have a cover story in Esquire, of course. The idea was to write the best, most entertaining article that you can.

I've never written a hard journalism piece in my life. I've never wanted to do that.

I loved seeing my name in print, I loved seeing my words in print. I felt really privileged to be in the kind of company I was in at Esquire, but I didn't think it was going to launch a career as a top-notch journalist. It's just not what I wanted.

When it became clear that Lennon was not going to speak with me, it really became a how-I-didn't-get-the-story story. It was a caper.

To write an article about someone and then to have that person murdered is disturbing.

Success and failure. We think of them as opposites, but they're really not. They're companions - the hero and the sidekick.

All of us ambitious young writers hoped to have a cover story in Esquire, of course. The idea was to write the best, most entertaining article that you can.