Shining in the midnight moonlight, while the King sings love me tender.

Books are the way the dead talk to the living.

You know, for every dollar a man makes a woman makes 63 cents. Now, fifty years ago that was 62 cents. So, with that kind of luck, it’ll be the year 3,888 before we make a buck.

People are really suffering these days. There's a lot of corporate triumph and a lot of personal despair as they wonder what are they working for.

Some friends of mine work in an office. They were getting really nervous from their coffee breaks, so they started to have wig breaks. They tried on wigs for 15 minutes. They found this relaxing. So that's Wig Therapy.

I've never really had a hobby, unless you count art, which the IRS once told me I had to declare as a hobby since I hadn't made money with it.

I have written a lot about snakes. There's something pretty primordial about it.