I haven't got anything against cats. I haven't got anything against elk either, but that doesn't mean I'm going to keep one in the store so I'll have a place to hang my hat.

Everybody's weird, fundamentally everybody is a snap. Sometimes it's a sexual thing and sometimes it's a different kind of weirdness, but one way or another everybody's nuts.

I’ve tried writing and the sentences come out fine, but I write a few pages and I don’t want to go on.

Booze and tobacco and lots of sex. It keeps a lad young.

Why on earth should I care whether people read me with their eyes or their ears?

To say I drank my way into marriage isn't much of an exaggeration, and it's none at all to say I drank my way out of it.

If fate sends you a lemon, use it to make lemonade.