If you want to write fiction, the best thing you can do is take two aspirins, lie down in a dark room, and wait for the feeling to pass.

Our happiest moments as tourists always seem to come when we stumble upon one thing while in pursuit of something else.

Asking me why I did or didn't do anything is generally pointless. How do I know? And asking me what I'll do in the future is even less rewarding.

If you cannot stand a spoon upright in the cup, then the coffee is too weak.

I can't persuade myself that one of the problems facing the planet today might be a shortage of books by me.

It's the easiest thing in the world to know God's will. You just wait and see what happens, and that's it.

Back then, before it became clear that democracy was best served by a drunken electorate, the bars in New York City were required to close on Election Day.