I don't know about the rest of the country but in New York more people have learned anonymity from rent control than ever discovered it in a twelve-step program.

Ideas come to people who are receptive to them.

Stories are like assholes. Everybody's got one and most of 'em stink.

To say I drank my way into marriage isn't much of an exaggeration, and it's none at all to say I drank my way out of it.

Back then, before it became clear that democracy was best served by a drunken electorate, the bars in New York City were required to close on Election Day.

If fate sends you a lemon, use it to make lemonade.

Everybody's weird, fundamentally everybody is a snap. Sometimes it's a sexual thing and sometimes it's a different kind of weirdness, but one way or another everybody's nuts.