A university is a college with a stadium seating over 40,000.
A pessimist sees only the dark side of the clouds and mopes; a philosopher sees both sides and shrugs; an optimist doesn't see the clouds at all - he's walking on them.
A doctor is a man licensed to make grave mistakes.
Only the dead have no troubles.
I wish I'd known you when you were alive.
He is a fine friend. He stabs you in the front.