No Ghost of any common sense begins a conversation

I'm very brave generally,' he went on in a low voice: 'only today I happen to have a headache.' (Tweedledum)

"She can't do Subtraction." said the White Queen. "Can you do Division? Divide a loaf by a knife-what's the answer to that?" "I suppose-" Alice was beginning, but the Red Queen answered for her. "Bread-and-butter, of course."

Where do you come from? And where are you going? Look up, speak nicely, and don't twiddle your fingers all the time.

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense.

For first you write a sentence, And then you chop it small; Then mix the bits and sort them out Just as they chance to fall: The order of the phrases makes no difference at all.

If doubtful whether to end with "yours faithfully," or "yours truly," or "yours most truly," &c. (there are at least a dozen varieties, before you reach "yours affectionately"), refer to your correspondent's last letter, and make your winding-up at least as friendly as his: in fact, even if a shade more friendly, it will do no harm!