Why don't I just step out and slip into something more spectacular?

I don't give concerts, I put on a show.

My manager called me once during one of my vacations and said, "I have a fantastic offer for you. Just hear me out. Don't say no yet." And it was fantastic offer but I said, "Seymour, I'd love to do it, but I really can't. My orchid trees are in bloom. I never leave when my orchid trees are in bloom." He thought it was crazy, but I am very into certain things. If a dog is sick I won't work.

I don't think I would be a good politician. I kid about it when I get a standing ovation. Sometimes I'll say, "I may run for Governor," but it's strictly a joke.

People in show business who are interested in politics, like Ronald Reagan, fare so well because they do know the magic of dealing with the public. This is something that can't be taught in a book. If they can produce after they've won over the public. If you can live up to your ballyhoo, you've got it made.

You can have either the Resurrection or you can have Liberace. But you can't have both.

Anyone that dares begrudge what I have today, just better get off their duff and do something about it.