I have seen the future, and it works.

I am really puzzled to understand myself.

My father required me to honor my father and my mother too much to put up games on them. I did on occasion.

The only thing worth having in an earthly existence is a sense of humor.

My father, the practical joker, did not care for practical jokes on himself; he did not encourage the practice in me.

Nothing is done. Everything in the world remains to be done or done over. The greatest picture is not yet painted, the greatest play isn't written, the greatest poem is unsung. There isn't in all the world a perfect railroad, nor a good government, nor a sound law. Physics, mathematics, and especially the most advanced and exact of the sciences are being fundamentally revised. . . Psychology, economics, and sociology are awaiting a Darwin, whose work in turn is awaiting an Einstein.

My father would invite me sweetly to come and sit on a stool at his feet, and, as I let myself trustingly down, he would gently kick the seat from under me - and laugh.