'These boat people,' says the government of Hong Kong, 'they all want to go to America.' Well, I swear I don't know why, do you? I mean, take Vietnam. Why would any Vietnamese come to America after what American did to Vietnam? Don't they remember My Lai, napalm, Sylvester Stallone?

I am not for abortion; nobody is for abortion. I am for your right to make your own hard choices in this world.

There are two types of change: the change we choose and the change that chooses us.

if you don't want to get old, don't mellow.

When the anchorman is wearing a colonel's uniform, it tells you something.

Co-dependence...taking someone else's temperature to see how you feel.

I have always felt that laughter in the face of reality is probably the finest sound there is and will last until the day when the game is called on account of darkness. In this world, a good time to laugh is any time you can.