I have a real low tolerance for parasites, and you're so close to the limit that I'm already reaching for the flea powder.

Pleasure was a siren, luring her to experience more

I'm not holding you against your will; I'm holding you against your car.

Hormones were as potent as whiskey, and twice as sneaky.

Okay, let me get a pen." There were rustling noises. "I can't find one." More noises. "Okay,shoot." "You found a pen?" "No, but I have a can of Cheez Whiz. I'll write your number on the counter with it, then find a pen and copy it." Jaine recited her number and listened to the spewing noise as Shelley Cheez-Whizzed it on her countertop.

Was the period of happiness worth the unhappiness that followed a breakup? Most people seemed to think so, because they got on the love train time and time again.

Do you know why men name their cocks?" "No, why?" she asked, trying to stifle her laughter. "So most of the major decisions in their lives won’t be made by a total stranger.