It is the inalienable right of every man, woman, and child to wear khaki.

Looking, acting, and ultimately being Prep is not restricted to an elite minority lucky enough to attend prestigious private schools, just because an ancestor or two happened to arrive here on the Mayflower. You don't even have to be a registered Republican.

A tip: if you're invited to your friend's country club to go the lost and found bin and pretend that you left something there. Next thing you know, you have a fabulous sweater.

It is the inalienable right of every man, woman, and child to wear khaki.

Always underdress. The goal is not to look as if you made an effort for the particular event. If you can dress for a different party (i.e., wear black tie to a cocktail party, or tennis clothes for lunch), so much the better. You give the impression of being much in demand.

Cynicism is more than a pose; it's also a handy time saver. By deflating your companion's enthusiasm, you can cut conversations in half.

The University of Miami is not a campus with visible school spirit, just visible tan lines.