Dartmouth Winter Carnival opens, proving once again that bitter cold is no obstacle to going completely out of control.

Wool, cotton, and the odd bits of silk and cashmere are the only acceptable materials for Prep clothes. They look better. They require professional maintenance. They are more expensive.

Always underdress. The goal is not to look as if you made an effort for the particular event. If you can dress for a different party (i.e., wear black tie to a cocktail party, or tennis clothes for lunch), so much the better. You give the impression of being much in demand.

Sarcasm mascarades as the Preppy's sense of humor.

Looking, acting, and ultimately being Prep is not restricted to an elite minority lucky enough to attend prestigious private schools, just because an ancestor or two happened to arrive here on the Mayflower. You don't even have to be a registered Republican.

The University of Miami is not a campus with visible school spirit, just visible tan lines.

Preppy clothes are built to last, since they certainly won't go out of style.