a laotong relationship is made by choice...when we first looked in each other's eyes in the palanquin I felt something special pass between us--like a spark to start a fire or a seed to grow rice. But a single spark is not enough to warm a room nor is a single seed enough to grow a fruitful crop. Deep love--true-heart love--must grow.

The greatest calling of all is to have a literary life.

But there are certain books I would never put on a Kindle because you want to be able to look at graphs and photos or the footnotes and maps. You can't see that.

What stays with me most is a general sense of loss, unease, and longing for the past that cannot be relieved.

There is no life without death. That is the true meaning of yin and yang

In our country we call this type of mother love teng ai. My son has told me that in men's writing it is composed of two characters. The first means pain; the second means love. That is a mother's love.

Maybe we're all like that with our mothers. They seem ordinary until one day they're extraordinary.