For my entire life I longed for love. I knew it was not right for me โ as a girl and later as a woman โ to want or expect it, but I did, and this unjustified desire has been at the root of every problem I have experienced in my life.
Lisa SeePeople say you need to be strong, smart, and lucky to survive hard times, war, a natural disaster, or physical torture. But I say emotional abuseโanxiety, fear, guilt, and degradationโis far worse and much harder to survive.
Lisa SeeWhen people are alive they love, when they die, they keep loving. If love ends when person dies, that is not real love
Lisa SeeI wonder if there was anything I would have done differently. I hope I would have done everything differently, except I know everything would have turned out the same. That's the meaning of fate.
Lisa SeeI think sometimes as an adult, you take people for what they do, and what they are now, instead of the whole picture of their lives.
Lisa SeeWe hug, but there are no tears. For every awful thing that's been said and done, she is my sister. Parents die, daughters grow up and marry out, but sisters are for life. She is the only person left in the world who shares my memories of our childhood, our parents, our Shanghai, our struggles, our sorrows, and, yes, even our moments of happiness and triumph. My sister is the one person who truly knows me, as I know her. The last thing May says to me is 'When our hair is white, we'll still have our sister love.
Lisa Seea laotong relationship is made by choice...when we first looked in each other's eyes in the palanquin I felt something special pass between us--like a spark to start a fire or a seed to grow rice. But a single spark is not enough to warm a room nor is a single seed enough to grow a fruitful crop. Deep love--true-heart love--must grow.
Lisa SeeMaybe we're all like that with our mothers. They seem ordinary until one day they're extraordinary.
Lisa SeeSisters, as you know, also have a unique relationship. This is the person who has known you your entire life, who should love you and stand by you no matter what, and yet it's your sister who knows exactly where to drive the knife to hurt you the most.
Lisa SeeDreaming, dreaming, dreaming -- weren't our dreams what gave us strength, hope, and desire?
Lisa SeeI've come to believe that part of lovesickness comes from this conflict between control and desire. In love we have no control. Our hearts and minds are tormented, teased, enticed and delighted by the overwhelming strength of emotions that make us try to forget the real world.
Lisa SeeIn every message she spoke of birds, of flight, of the world away. Even back then, she flew against what was presented to her. I wanted to cling to her wings and soar, no matter how intimidated I was.
Lisa SeeOur words had to be circumspect. We could not write anything too negative about our circumstances. This was tricky, since the very form of a married woman's letter needed to include the usual complaints -- that we were pathetic, powerless, worked to the bone, homesick, and sad. We were supposed to speak directly about our feelings without appearing ungrateful, no-account, or unfilial.
Lisa SeeI don't really know anything about the movie business, even though I've lived in Los Angeles my whole life - somehow I've never bumped into it.
Lisa SeeMama used to tell us a story about a cicada sitting high in a tree. It chirps and drinks in dew, oblivious to the praying mantis behind it. The mantis arches up its front leg to stab the cicada, but it doesn't know an oriole perches behind it. The bird stretches out its neck to snap up the mantis for a midday meal, but its unaware of the boy who's come into the garden with a net. Three creaturesโthe cicada, the mantis and the orioleโall coveted gains without being aware of the greater and inescapable danger that was coming.
Lisa SeeIf it is perfectly acceptable for a widow to disfigure herself or commit suicide to save face for her husband's family, why should a mother not be moved to extreme action by the loss of a child or children? We are their caretakers. We love them. We nurse them when they are sick. . . But no woman should live longer than her children. It is against the law of nature. If she does, why wouldn't she wish to leap from a cliff, hang from a branch, or swallow lye?
Lisa SeePeople come in and out of our lives, and the true test of friendship is whether you can pick back up right where you left off the last time you saw each other.
Lisa SeeI think to really be literate in nu shu you only need about 600 characters because it is phonetic. So you're able to then create many words out of one character.
Lisa SeeBut there are certain books I would never put on a Kindle because you want to be able to look at graphs and photos or the footnotes and maps. You can't see that.
Lisa SeeWe're told that men are strong & brave, but I think women know how to endure, accept defeat & bear physical & mental agony much better than men.
Lisa SeeI am old enough to know only too well my good and bad qualities, which were often one in the same.
Lisa SeeYou may be desperate, but never let anyone see you as anything less than a cultivated woman.
Lisa SeeIt's funny how in that moment I see things clearly. Am I beaten down? Yes. Have I allowed myself to become a victim? Somewhat. Am I afraid? Always. Does some part of me still long to fly away from this place? Absolutely. But I can't leave. Sam and I have built a life for Joy. It isn't perfect, but it's a life. My family's happiness means more to me that starting over again. Page 210
Lisa SeeIโve never thought much about whether I was happy or if I had fun as a child. I was a so-so girl who lived with a so-so family in a so-so village. I didnโt know that there might be another way to live, and I didnโt worry about it either.
Lisa SeeAnyone who says that women do not have influence in men's decisions makes a vast and stupid mistake.
Lisa SeeSeeing something once is better than hearing about it a hundred times. Doing something once is better than seeing it a hundred times.
Lisa SeeGone were my girlish ideas about romantic love and my later ideas about sexual love. From Yi, I learned to appreciate deep-heart love. Peony in Love
Lisa SeeMy love for him had never gone away but only changed, growing deeper like wine fermenting or pickles curing. It bore into me with the pervasiveness of water working its way to the center of a mountain.
Lisa SeeIn our country we call this type of mother love teng ai. My son has told me that in men's writing it is composed of two characters. The first means pain; the second means love. That is a mother's love.
Lisa SeeI think all women have a friend who at some point dumped them or betrayed them or deeply disappointed them. And at the same time all women have a friend who they dumped or betrayed or hurt in some way. That's universal in women's friendships.
Lisa See