I had self-doubt about whether my story was interesting to people. I didn't want to write something that was anecdotal. It was important to me that people would get something out of my book. I want people to read it and say, "Now I don't feel so alone," or "I'm going to remember that next time I'm being an asshole."

One of the first things Catholic school taught me is that babies were born sinners. You sucked before you took your first breath.

Commit a little bit more to the world outside of your own life. Get people talking.

It's always fun when somebody who you admire and respect is the voice - is your voice, as a viewer.

Write a smart joke and people want to talk about it and keep the dialogue going. Also, if you can make someone laugh, it's a pronouncement that they like you on some level.

Truth be told, when you start your career out as a clown, you don't consider yourself a writer.

I'm Catholic. My mother and I were unpacking and she found my diaphragm. I had to tell her it was a bathing cap for my cat.