I don't make crappy movies. I spend two or three years making a film. I don't take myself seriously, but I take my movies very seriously.

I majored in Chinese Studies. I'm probably the only director of chicken Indian zombie movies who can speak pretty good Mandarin.

I like fat people more then I like thin people, things are always a lot more funnier when they happen to fat people.

I hope that all new filmmakers see that the Internet and social media are helpful tools in establishing a fan base as well as being able to interact with your fans.

The thing I find about the movie industry is that 99 percent of the people are absolute scum. They're horrible people, they really are. Very nasty killer rabbits who hate movies. But the other 1 percent are really the greatest, most wonderful people in the world.

It's a lonely world, being independent, and they can come away with the idea that if Lloyd Kaufman can make movies with people getting their heads squashed, with hard-bodied lesbians, women masturbating with pickles, graphic diarrhea, and singing and dancing chicken zombies - if he can do that for 40 years and put his kids through Yale, Columbia, and Duke - if that idiot can do it, anybody can do it.

In our racist, sexist society, Christmas is the 8 hours when we stop killing each other and gratuitous over eating is encouraged so that the starving and other people in the world can die!