I think what people were trying with me was to figure out who I was. They thought I was funny, but they were like, "How can we use this guy so he can regularly do this?" Does that make any sense? I think people were trying to figure out if my fat peg would fit in their square hole.

Azhar Usman is a true original and will laugh the hate right out of you.

You have to not worry or doubt or punish yourself. All the worry, doubt and punishment will not add one second to your life, you know?

If I were the last person on earth, some moron would turn left in front of me.

One thing to remember when you're successful, famous, whatever you want to call it - well-known, not that well-known - whatever you want to go. One thing to remember is your family's not famous, and they're not well-known.

I live in California, the worst place in the world for fat people. There are three of us. They have us on eight-hour shifts, so it works out.

Dr. Phil was very helpful and caring. I believe he helped all of us there and watching how to better relate, understand, and communicate with our families and loved ones. Dr. Phil recommended reading my new book.