I started a big part of my career in Vegas.

I was a terrible actor. But John Hughes liked me, and he encouraged me. I made him laugh, I guess is the bottom line, and then he gave me that part in Ferris Bueller's Day Off as the flower man. It's just a nothing part in one sense, but it's such an iconic movie that people will ask me from time to time, "Are you in Ferris Bueller's Day Off?" "Yeah."

I could be an alternative comic. I could be that really dark - I was - I was a very dark comic to begin with. I could be that guy, and the only reason I didn't is that I wanted to make money. I wanted to be popular. I wanted to be liked more than I wanted to be admired.

Azhar Usman is a true original and will laugh the hate right out of you.

Dr. Phil was very helpful and caring. I believe he helped all of us there and watching how to better relate, understand, and communicate with our families and loved ones. Dr. Phil recommended reading my new book.

I'll tell you how you know when you're on something good: when everybody starts to tear up when they're leaving, when they're wrapping for the season. You know, when you say, "All right, we're done with McGillicuddy. That's a wrap for McGillicuddy!" And everybody applauds, but everybody's sad, because McGillicuddy's going to be gone! You know, it's like family going off to college or war. You have this intimate relationship with these people, and then - bam! - they're gone.

It might be one thing to think about putting on a dress, but when you're actually putting on a dress, it's a weird thing, because you're going, "Huh. I'm putting on a dress. Do I leave my underwear on? Do I get some other underwear? Is there something special I should wear?" All that dumb stuff. I'd never had any interest in putting on my mom's clothes, except to think, "Well, they are nice clothes..."