If I were the last person on earth, some moron would turn left in front of me.

I live in California, the worst place in the world for fat people. There are three of us. They have us on eight-hour shifts, so it works out.

Filming in Cloak & Dagger I was trying to get my Screen Actors Guild card. Everybody tries to get their SAG card if they want to be an actor. People might say that it was their dream to be an actor, but for me, I was a comedian. I already had a job. But I felt like there could be money there, and comedians don't make very much money, or they didn't in 1984.

My mom ate every piece of butter in the Midwest, she lived till she was 90. And my dad, he smoked, he drank - we finally just had to kill him.

I have a cousin Ernie who buys stuff. He's got a big snowblower that's actually the biggest snowblower you can buy, with a remote control, so he doesn't even have to go outside. He's got the microwave and a satellite dish, it's all in one. He cooks and watches at the same time.

We all think we're going to get out of debt.

I'm a 7 o'clock act. My people want to go to a show, a dinner and then go home and go to bed.