If I were the last person on earth, some moron would turn left in front of me.

I have to be very careful about how I do any stuff on sadness 'cause the crowd gets really sad and concerned for me.

I could be an alternative comic. I could be that really dark - I was - I was a very dark comic to begin with. I could be that guy, and the only reason I didn't is that I wanted to make money. I wanted to be popular. I wanted to be liked more than I wanted to be admired.

We all think we're going to get out of debt.

Azhar Usman is a true original and will laugh the hate right out of you.

I really made the cartoon Life with Louie with one reason in mind: I didn't have a very good relationship with my dad, and we didn't all watch TV together like we should've, like you hope for, like you've seen on TV, and I wanted to make it for moms and dads and their kids. That was always my goal. And then I wanted to put real things in it. We did a thing about the homeless and won a Humanitas award for that.

God and the universe said to me one day, "You're only going to get what's good for you." That's kind of how I try to look at things. Isn't that true, when you look back at things? "Ooh, I'm glad I didn't get that!" You get more philosophical when you get older, with the more life experiences you have. But I don't have any bad feelings towards anybody that was ever involved in any of that stuff, because I don't think that people usually set out to hurt you. I think that hurt is all manufactured by yourself and your expectations.