If I didn't try to eavesdrop on every bus ride I take or look for the humor when I go for a walk, I would just be depressed all the time.

When an attractive but ALOOF ("cool") man comes along, there are some of us who offer to shine his shoes with our underpants. There are thousands of scientific concepts as to why this is so, and yes, yes, it's very sick but none of this helps.

My goal on my bucket list is to write a romantic comedy movie.

I go to work the minute I open my eyes.

I listen like mad to any conversation taking place next to me just trying to hear why this is funny. Women's restrooms are especially great. I wash my hands twice waiting for people to come in and start talking.

What year is it in your imagination?

The only reason we find structure in stories is because it's there naturally in human interaction, and in the way that people tell stories.