What one discovers in life, I find, is that one's personality defects don't come and go.

It should come as no surprise that writers take an interest in punctuation. I have been told that the dying words of one famous 20th-century writer were, "I should have used fewer semicolons" - and although I have spent months fruitlessly trying to track down the chap responsible, I believe it none the less. If it turns out that no one actually did say this on their deathbed, I shall certainly save it up for my own.

I used to help my dad with a stall selling eggs when I was about 12. People were so hard up they would ask for one egg. But mostly no one came by at all. It was very demoralising.

Why did the Apostrophe Protection Society not have a militant wing? Could I start one? Where do you get balaclavas?

I am not against marriage. I lived with someone for 11 years. But we weren't in love, and I thought that was quite important.

I do needlepoint from kits. I give them as gifts to people in the form of cushion covers and they are often speechless with horror.

Texting is a fundamentally sneaky form of communication, which we should despise, but it is such a boon we don't care. We are all sneaks now.