To some people, the fact that I am not married, or don't have children, would be the reason I have written a book on punctuation.

Proper punctuation is both the sign and the cause of clear thinking.

I used to help my dad with a stall selling eggs when I was about 12. People were so hard up they would ask for one egg. But mostly no one came by at all. It was very demoralising.

You don't want to make an enemy of Piers Morgan.

When you by nature subscribe to the view that everyone except yourself is a berk or a wanker, it is hard to bond with anybody in any rational common cause.

Evidently an A level in English is a sacred trust, like something out of "The Lord of the Rings". You must go forth with your A level and protect the English language with your bow of elfin gold.

The rule is: don’t use commas like a stupid person. I mean it.