Real love is a permanently self-enlarging experience.

The will to grow is, in essence, the same phenomenon as love. Genuinely loving people are, by definition, growing people.

The principal form that the work of love takes is attention. When we love another person we give him or her our attention; we attend to that person's growth.

There is no act of love that is not an act of work or courage. No exceptions.

Genuine love is volitional rather than emotional. The person who truely loves does so because of a decision to love. This person has made a commitment to be loving whether or not the loving feeling is present. ...Conversely, it is not only possible but necessary for a loving person to avoid acting on feelings of love.

The feeling of being valuable - 'I am a valuable person'- is essential to mental health and is a cornerstone of self-discipline.

I have learned nothing in twenty years that would suggest that evil people can be rapidly influenced by any means other than raw power. They do not respond, at least in the short run, to either gentle kindness or any form of spiritual persuasion with which I am familiar.