Neatness makes me feel like I have to be on my best behavior. Clutter is my natural habitat.

My mother always said that I was born out of a bottle of vinegar instead of born from a womb and that she and my father bathed me in sugar for three days to wash it off. I try to behave, but I always go back to the vinegar.

Did you know you get one happy day for every one you catch?... One happy day for every falling leaf you catch" -sam

Sam," she said, and I crushed her to me.

The inside of the old Camaro smelled like asphalt and desire, gasoline and dreams.

If she and Sam ever had kids, they'd be gluten-intolerant out of self-defence.

I leaned across the table towards the crumb-thrower. "Do that again," I said, loud enough to be heard over the opera singer, Dolly, my mother, and the smell of the breadsticks, "and I will sell your firstborn child to the devil.