As you get older, don't slow down. Speed up. There's less time left!

To switch lads and lassies from quickie ceremonies back to the catered works in to-be-worm-only-once white dresses, the [wedding] garment producers have turned to sociology. Through statistics as carefully laid out as a bridal train, they are establishing a correlation showing a higher divorce rate for the informally gowned.... They may just have something there.... If a bride has sunk a bunk of savings into a dress she can't use again in a second wedding, she might think twice about having a second.

How in heck are they handling their surplus population in Hell these days? Maybe by the time you and I are in the queue there won't be room for us.

A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have enlightened him with ours.

The difference between towering and cowering is totally a matter of inner posture.

Socialism will be here the day we share our profits to the degree we share our failures.

Nothing is sometimes the right thing to say.