I helped deliver one of my best friend's children. I just was so amazed by my friend, because she was not just a woman, she was not just a mother. At that moment she was creation; she was life; she was God. And as I looked in her eyes, BOOM! Her pussy exploded.

Why can't all different types of women be considered beautiful? Why can't we can't we all be considered possible love interests?

To me, marriage is really important and what we build families on. That's why gay marriage is really important.

I don't really know what 'selling out' is exactly. I would sell out if I could, but nobody's buying it. I would love to go mainstream, but my comedy is too edgy. It's always too dirty. It's always too filthy. I'm dying to sell out. But I love doing comedy, I love touring, and I think I would do everything for free.

And if the problem [with contraception] is promiscuity, then why does the immense popularity of Viagra go unchecked? Doesn't it make more sense to leave the bullets out of the gun than to try to avoid being shot? Especially when the gun is an old musket, and you have to clean it out and tamp down gunpowder, melt down scraps of lead and pour it into a mold, wait for it to cool - only to have it take forever to finally go off?

I do love the road, because for me, the road is very comfortable, and it's very much what I've always wanted to do. It's one of the most appealing things about comedy for me, so I do really have an affection for it.

Sex in general, for me, is a lot of different aspects of humanity, not just my relationships. It's my relationship to myself and my body.