No matter what these terrorists do, I refuse to be terrorized. All this requires is just a few alterations in our day to day lives. For example, my first instinct when I receive an envelope full of white powder... is to snort it! I just won't do that this time!

I became a comedian because I didn't want to be bullied anymore. Onstage I was safe.

Love is the big booming beat which covers up the noise of hate.

I have a box of awards in the closet. I think it is weird to put them out. I might if I had an Emmy or Oscar, but I don't.

Comedy is a noble art.

If you really care about children then why would you want to keep families from adopting them?

I want to get married but I look at husbands the same way I look at tattoos. I want one, but I can't decide what I want, and I don't want to be stuck with something I'd grow to hate and have surgically removed.