That's the nature of comedy. You always want to be improving and growing and changing with what's happening in the world. That's when comedy is most effective.

I don't like pot anymore -- I forget why.

Just because you are blind and unable to see my beauty doesn't mean it does not exist.

It's always considered bad taste to comment on a tragedy right when it's happening, but I love when something is considered too soon to talk about because then you can blast past that social censorship to get into something real.

My mother goes crazy over babies. Some people just do. They love 'em! I never have. Babies scare me more than anything. They're tiny and fragile and impressionable - and someone else's! As much as I hate borrowing stuff, that is how much I hate holding other people's babies. It's too much responsibility.

Maybe I wanted to hear it so badly that my ears betrayed my mind in order to secure my heart.

There's a lot of guy comics who I think are funny, but I generally am more excited about a special or a show where there are females.