... in a wicked way, it is an incentive to good living to observe the spice of enjoyment there is to a godly soul in a very little sin.

it's better to be crazy on one point and happy, than sane on all points and unhappy.

... if a man really and truly believed that black was white, you might advise him to see an oculist, but you mustn't call him a liar.

There isn't any virtue where there has never been any temptation.

a short cut to matrimonial unhappiness is not to have the same taste in jokes!

... is there anything more unjust than to build gold and brass and iron on poor, well-meaning clay, -- and then blame the clay when the whole image falls into dust?

Absurdity is the one thing love can't stand; it can overlook anything else, -- coldness, or weakness, or viciousness, -- but just be ridiculous and that's the end of it!