I have been devoured all my life by an incurable and burning impatience: and to this day find all oratory, biography, operas, films, plays, books, and persons, too long.

I do not say I was ever what I would call "plain," but I have the sort of face that bores me when I see it on other people.

Truthfulness with me is hardly a virtue. I cannot discriminate between truths that and those that don't need to be told.

[To Jean Harlow, who repeatedly mispronounced her first name:] No, no, Jean. The t is silent, as in Harlow.

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake.

What a pity, when Christopher Colombus discovered America, that he ever mentioned it.

The Almighty is a wonderful handicapper: He will not give us everything.