In an unpredictable and unpleasant world it was both unusual and very pleasant to hear what I wanted to hear.

There's no doubt that relationships do suffer when circumstances change profoundly.

... I am more of an ambler. I once overheard my old boss in Dublin describe me as very "hello trees, hello flowers." It was intended as an insult and it fulfilled its brief; I was insulted. I had little interest in greeting trees and flowers but nor did I treat life as a treadmill, on which it was vital to keep fleeing forward in order to avoid being sucked off the back and out of the game.

I've been so showered in life, beyond my wildest dreams, such as having a loving partner I never thought I'd have.

smarter than me. But here's the thing my life did get better. I made a decision to let go of my dreams, because they were killing me, and I stopped asking the impossible of myself. I changed my attitude and decided to focus on what I had rather than what i didn't have.

I'd rather dig a ditch than go to a dinner party with people I don't know.

You've recognised a fundamental feature of an addict's life. Maintaining your habit is so important you've no real interest in anything else.