Although will never love anyone again, don't want to become bitter. Or creative.

I loved being in my own head so much, it was getting harder and harder being with other people.

I suppose I wanted to have my cake and eat it. But then again, what were you going to do with your cake if not eat it? Frame it? Use it as a sachet in your underwear drawer?

I am different when my nails are done. I am more dynamic. I gesticulate more, I am better at scaring my staff. I can indicate impatience by drumming on tabletops and I can wrap up a meeting with a few choice clatters.

It was only when the salt water of my tears ran into my cuts and made them sting that I discovered I was crying.

I used to feel defensive when people would say, 'Yes, but your books have happy endings', as if that made them worthless, or unrealistic. Some people do get happy endings, even if it's only for a while. I would rather never be published again than write a downbeat ending.

Nothing sinister. Just getting exercise. Although some might consider that sinister.