The difference between America and England is that the English think 100 miles is a long distance and the Americans think 100 years is a long time. The difference between an autobiography and an unauthorized biography is like the difference between an account of your life written by your mother and one written by your mother-in-law.

Have you ever noticed that when you must struggle to hear something, you close your eyes?

Know how your representatives stand on major national or state issues.

Almost all of the finer things in life are free or nearly free. You don't have to pay for the sky at night or snow in the morning or a kiss on the nose when you're sick. Forgetting that may put you at the mercy of those who seek to profit by convincing you to want whatever it is they have to sell.

Be able to suffer wearing a necktie or slightly high heels for an entire evening without complaint or early removal.

Profit is what we have left after we make a donation to a worthwhile cause.

Scientists and creationists are always at odds, of course.