I hated high school. Ugh. I couldn't wait until it was over so I could sleep in. In college, I made sure all my classes were in the afternoon. I hated getting up in the morning.

I'm crass, contemptuous and crude, obstreperous, obnoxious, rambunctiously raw and rude.

Look, you're either loved or hated. Which is a good thing, as Bette Davis used to say.

Stand-up was like being on a Barbie townhouse stage.

In the '70s, the gay movement was really making strides. Huge strides. And then AIDS came along and slapped a judgment on it all and the Right Wing religious movement was like, 'See. This is why, we told you.' And it pushed back the movement 30 years.

Who do you think I am, Pete Rose? I don't bet. I come from a long line of compulsive gamblers. Gambling scares me.

I knew the full 'Judy Garland Carnegie Hall' double album set at age 2. And then my mother wondered why I was gay. I was like, 'Are you nuts? You would make me get on the table to sing Judy Garland songs and you're upset?