If man could apply half the ingenuity he’s exhibited in the creation of weapons to more sensible ends, there’s no limit to what he might yet accomplish

The first prerequisite of elaborate mental exercise was a full stomach.

Keep your friends close and your enemies dead and buried in the basement.

Hate wears you down and doesn’t hurt your enemy. It’s like taking poison and hoping your enemy will die.

I take all the best parts of YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook, and combine them into a whole new service called … YouTwit-face.

Dear Internet: You are very good at spreading rumors. Truth is more valuable and much harder to come by.

Crime has always been a regrettably consistent element of the human experience.