I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's.

I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.

Children and fools always speak the truth

[I] shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes. Indeed, upon second thought, I will not use it then, for it is unchristian, inelegant, and degrading--though to speak truly I do not see how house rent and taxes are going to be discussed worth a cent without it.

Beautiful credit! The foundation of modern society. Who shall say that this is not the golden age of mutual trust, of unlimited reliance upon human promises? That is a peculiar condition of society which enables a whole nation to instantly recognize point and meaning in the familiar newspaper anecdote, which puts into the mouth of a distinguished speculator in lands and mines this remark: -- I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two millions of dollars.

Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.