Solomon, who was one of the Deity's favorites, had a copulation cabinet composed of seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines. To save his life he could not have kept two of these young creatures satisfactorily refreshed, even if he had fifteen experts to help him. Necessarily almost the entire thousand had to go hungry for years and years on a stretch. Conceive of a man hardhearted enough to look daily upon all that suffering and not be moved to mitigate it.

Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out.

Every time I read a Jane Austen novel, I feel like a bartender at the gates of heaven.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.

I think a compliment ought always to precede a complaint, where one is possible, because it softens resentment and insures for the complaint a courteous and gentle reception.

Don't live in the past, don't ponder about the future, stay at the PRESENT moment NOW...always.