When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.

Being rich ain't what it's cracked up to be. It's just worry and worry, and sweat and sweat, and a-wishing you was dead all the time.

I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.

There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.

The Public is merely a multiplied 'me.'

We were surprised how closely the cuckoo imitated the clock-and yet, of course, it could never have heard a clock.

Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider.