A religion that comes of thought, and study, and deliberate conviction, sticks best. The revivalized convert who is scared in the direction of heaven because he sees hell yawn suddenly behind him, not only regains confidence when his scare is over, but is ashamed of himself for being scared, and often becomes more hopelessly and malignantly wicked than he was before.

The citizen who sees his society's democratic clothes being worn out and does not cry it out, is not a patriot, but a traitor.

I went to the circus, and loafed around the back side till the watchman went by, and then dived in under the tent. I had my twenty-dollar gold piece and some other money, but I reckoned I better save it.... I ain't opposed to spending money on circuses, when there ain't no other way, but there ain't no use in wasting it on them.

I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.

Names are not always what they seem. The common Welsh name Bzjxxllwcp is pronounced Jackson.

Whenever he was out of luck and a little down-hearted, he would fall to mourning over the loss of a wonderful cat he used to own (for where women and children are not, men of kindly impulses take up with pets, for they must love something)

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.