It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.

One mustn't criticize other people on grounds where he can't stand perpendicular himself

The [Kodak is] the only witness I have encountered in my long experience that I couldn't bribe.

None but an ass pays a compliment and asks a favour at the same time. There are many asses.

A better idea than my own is to listen.

Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself; in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."

When there was room on the ledge outside of the pots and boxes for a cat, the cat was there- in sunny weather- stretched at full length, asleep and blissful, with her furry belly to the sun and a paw curved over her nose.