Our Congresses consist of Christians. In their private life they are true to every obligation of honor; yet in every session they violate them all, and do it without shame. Because honor to party is above honor to themselves.

It's so damned humiliating.

I wonder if God created man because He was disappointed with the monkey.

A proud man is one who waits for a vacancy in the Trinity.

Bridgeport?" Said I. "Camelot," Said he.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

As to the adjective: when in doubt, strike it out.