I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

Let us draw the curtain of charity over the rest of this scene

God cures and the doctor sends the bill.

When the Lord finished the world, he pronounced it good. That is what I said about my first work, too. But Time, I tell you, Time takes the confidence out of these incautious opinions. It is more than likely that He thinks about the world, now, pretty much as I think about the Innocents Abroad. The fact is, there is a trifle too much water in both.

The smallest minds and the selfishest souls and the cowardliest hearts that God makes.