I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.

Truth is more of a stranger than fiction. When in doubt, tell the truth. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its use.

Never run after you own hat - others will be delighted to do it; why spoil their fun?

We all belong to the nasty stinking little human race, & of course it is not nice for God's beloved vermin to scoff at each other... Oh, we are a nasty little lot-& to think there are people who would like to save us & continue us. It won't happen if I have any influence.

When whole races and peoples conspire to propagate gigantic mute lies in the interest of tyrannies and shams, why should we care anything about the trifling lies told by individuals?

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

Out of the unconscious lips of babes and sucklings are we satirized.