The law of work seems unfair, but nothing can change it; the more enjoyment you get out of your work, the more money you will make.

Rise early. It is the early bird that catches the worm. Don't be fooled by this absurd law; I once knew a man who tried it. He got up at sunrise and a horse bit him.

I hope all of us may eventually be together in everlasting peace and bliss -- except the inventor of the #‎ telephone .

The Church worked hard at it night and day during nine centuries and imprisoned, tortured, hanged, and burned whole hordes and armies of witches, and washed the Christian world clean with their foul blood. Then it was discovered that there was no such thing as witches, and never had been. One doesn't know whether to laugh or to cry. Who discovered that there was no such thing as a witch - the priest, the parson? No, these never discover anything.

The statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is being attacked, and every man will be glad of these conscience-soothing falsities

Children have but little charity for one another's defects

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.