I saw a startling sight today, a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

No temperance society which is well officered and which has the real good of our fellow-men in view, will ever get drunk save in the seclusion of its temperance hall.

Men and women -- even man and wife are foreigners. Each has reserves that the other cannot enter into, nor understand. These have the effect of frontiers.

I have learned that there lies dormant in the souls of all men a penchant for some particular musical instrument an an unsuspected yearning to play on it, which are bound to wake up an demand attention someday. Therefore you who rail at such that disturb your slumbers with unsuccessful and demoralizing attempts to subjugate a guitar, beware! For sooner or later your own time will come.

Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.

Benefit of clergy: Half-rate on the railroad.

What a lie it is to call this a free country, where none but the unworthy and undeserving may swear.