The worst thing you can do to a man is to tell him he can have what he wants.
Your friends may love you in private but your enemies will hate you in public.
A sincere compliment is always grateful to a lady, so long as you don't try to knock her down with it.
Every citizen of the republic ought to consider himself an unofficial policeman, and keep unsalaried watch and ward over the laws and their execution.
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
You ought never to sass old people- unless they sass you first.