There are only two types of speakers in the world. 1. The nervous and 2. Liars.

The solution to our water problems is more rain.

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.

Heaven is the very last place to come to rest and don't you be afraid to bet on that!

Women cannot receive even the most palpably judicious suggestion without arguing it; that is, married women.

But I reckon I got to light out for the Territory ahead of therest, because Aunt Sally she's going to adopt me and sivilize me, and I can't stand it. I been there before.

I felt it was my duty to praise all of God's works with fervent enthusiasm. At the same time I killed flies in my house in a spirit of hatred, exasperation and contempt. My praise to God for all his works was dishonest, the act of killing the fly was honest.