Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled.

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

If God had meant for us to be naked, we'd have been born that way.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.

Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.

I pity the fellow who has to create a dialect or paraphrase the dictionary to get laughs. I can't spell, but I have never stooped to spell cat with a 'k' to get at your funny bone. I love a drink, but I never encouraged drunkenness by harping on its alleged funny side.

There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought -a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!