We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made, or only just happened - Jim he allowed they was made, but I allowed they happened; I judged it would have took too long to make so many. Jim said the moon could a laid them; well that looked kind of reasonable, so I didn't say nothing against it, because I've seen a frog lay most as many, so of course It could be done.

I never write "metropolis" for seven cents when I can write "city" and get paid the same.

I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.

When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma.

Good judgement is the result of experience and experience the result of bad judgement.

We take a natural interest in novelties, but it is against nature to take an interest in familiar things.

The Autocrat of Russia possesses more power than any other man in the earth; but he cannot stop a sneeze.