There is no humor in heaven.

I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.

Tight pants are just uncomfortable.

In all the ages, three-fourths of the support of the great charities has been conscience money.

He was endowed with a stupidity which by the least little stretch would go around the globe four times and tie.

Stripping away the irrational, the illogical, and the impossible, I am left with atheism. I can live with that.

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.